Presents for teachers

The end of each semester always brings about new opportunities to reflect on relationships with students and the effects you've had on each other.  This semester, a student gave me a Christmas present, which is rare enough that it always kind of reminds me -- in a self-deprecating way -- of the heartbreaking end of the film The Browning Version.  This particular present, while unexpected, was certainly much appreciated as a symbolic gesture.  As indicated by her card, this student enjoyed the class and wanted to express those good feelings with a gift.  In return, the gift prompted me to reflect in a more personal way on my students (all of them) as individuals and to think about how they have changed, even if only in small ways, over the semester. As college instructors, we're not always encouraged or expected to connect with our students on this level, since the traditional college model, whether it's appropriate or not, emphasizes rigor and mastery of the complex subject matter, and our students, after all, are increasingly self-reliant adults. I am perhaps not the friendliest guy around, even though I try not to be downright aloof, so when I do inspire this kind of personal connection it's always a bonus that makes me realize some of my efforts to get students to be successful and more confident in their actual abilities have worked.

Browning Version, 1951 version

Gifts like this always remind of the elementary-school tradition that encourages all students to buy their teachers presents for the holidays.  Memories of this tradition are not all-around pleasant. When I was in the second grade, I was roundly humiliated when I gave my teacher, Mrs. Tribble, a white-haired older woman with perfectly straight teeth, a three-pack of Irish Spring bar soap.  Most of the other students had given Mrs. Tribble pretty baubles or affectionately sensible items like little teddy bears or novelty coffee mugs. Most of the other students, it would seem, had some parental guidance and financial assistance in this regard. I seem to remember wandering around Target with a couple of dollars stuffed into my Toughskins jeans, wondering what I could possibly get for a teacher. The soap seemed practical, but I also remember being fond of the jaunty Irish Spring TV commercials, so I'm sure that was a factor. 

The other students laughed uproariously at my measly and inappropriate gift, probably in part because they thought it implied that I thought the teacher needed a bath.  Mrs. Tribble, to her credit, added the soap to her stack of gifts and said with some pride, "I'm going to smell so good."  It's sort of amazing to think about all the strange and unexpected situations that elementary-school teachers have to be ready for.      

Slang and drunkenness

Whenever I discuss examples of slang and informal language with students, we're always collectively and pleasantly struck by how many slang expressions exist for the standard "drunk" or "drunken."  As far as I know, and I'm no linguist, there's really only one standard or common word for the state of being intoxicated by alcohol: drunk. There are a few more formal ways of saying this, including the aforementioned "intoxicated" and similar terms like "inebriated."  But there are perhaps hundreds of informal or slang terms milling about. Naming just a few from the top of my 45-year-old brain (and young people tend to be the main purveyors and inventors of slang), we might say a drunk person is wasted, slammed, lit, shit-faced, fucked up, hammered, plowed, or happy.

Each of these words perhaps suggests a different degree of drunkenness, although most slang terms for drunk connote a state of inebriation that is beyond being simply buzzed or pleasantly affected by alcohol. Indeed, most of these informal terms, which often involve figurative language, are designed to conjure images of the drunk person being out of control (George Carlin had a great bit about "shit-faced" in particular), and the words exist in order to convey something more out of control than drunk.  He wasn't just drunk; he was wasted.  Some words seem to imply a happier state of inebriation, as well. Personally, I'd rather be "lit" (which has a nice connotation of warmth) than "wasted" (which suggests being poisoned or damaged).

In spite of this, these informal terms are mostly used in the spirit of celebrating or poking fun at the exploits of good friends.  We don't normally say, "She was so wasted she had to go to the hospital."  Instead, we say, "Oh my god, she was so wasted!" when attempting to convey the idea that a good time was had by all.

Blue Moon beer (original photo)

It's interesting that we have so many words for such a common, if rather unfortunate, human condition, but I think that's just the point.  My theory is that because drunkenness is such an ordinary and rather pathetic human failing, we tend to make it more colorful through language.  The words are varied because the experience itself does not lend itself to all that much variety. Yes, people do lots of different things while drunk, but drunk is drunk, and watching someone be drunk, in spite of what sober people may say, is never quite as interesting as these colorful words imply.  Yet the human love affair with alcohol continues, as does the never-ending march of words to help us identify and describe the condition of having had one too many.