In junior-high and high school, I played the trombone in the school band. I quit my senior year because there was a schedule conflict with my theatre class, and it was one of the first moments of realizing you can't do everything at the same time, and I was clearly involved with band for the wrong reasons.
I never liked the trombone as an instrument much, even though I'm generally keen on trying new instruments and can figure out almost anything on a rudimentary level. I am an avid and pretty skilled guitar player, but I've also dabbled with the banjo, the ukulele, and the piano. I chord the piano like a bad lounge act, but it's a remarkably fun instrument with a complex tone and sound quality that naturally touches on all things spiritual and moving.
I was terrible at the trombone because I never liked it much. Although the trombone is often seen or depicted as a fun, jazzy instrument (and it can be), it is also used most often as a middle-tone filler instrument in large marching bands, and I was never good enough to play solos or be engaged with the instrument at that level. I didn't practice much, so of course I never got better. I envied tuba and euphonium players because their instruments seemed neater and more precise. The trumpet seemed to have instant sex appeal, and even instruments like the clarinet had a certain contrarian appeal. The trombone involved endless maintenance (with that slide that could easily be dinged or accidentally bent).
The trombone was "picked" for me when I was in 7th grade because I didn't know what I wanted to play. The band director sized me up and that's what we went with. There was little discussion. My brother played the trombone, so it seemed like a natural if preditable choice. I always resented the idea of this instrument being foisted upon me, yet I lacked the inner voice and confidence to object.
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| This is me plaing the ukulele at a party. I couldn't find a personal picture of the trombone. |
The trombone was the instrument that a lot of "regular" guys, lanky guys with average personalities, played. The one thing I enjoyed about the trombone, however, was the comraderie. A lot of us shared an apathy for the instrument and boredom with the idea of marching in lines and taking orders from junior-sized squad leaders who took everything way too seriously, and we also shared a tendency to fill the time by being jokesters. Sometimes the joking went too far, but we were also teenagers with complex emotional lives, unrealized longings, and self-loathing that came in waves. The "joking" aspects of being a trombonists seemed baked into the role. It can be a naturally funny instrument, of course, capable of crazy sounds. The word itself (trombone) lends itself to all kinds of teenage-boy-type humor. There was a special trombone squad that played goofy songs (like "Tequila") during slow moments during the football games.
I quit trombone at the beginning of my senior year, because of the schedule conflict but also because I realized even as one of the jokesters I didn't quit fit in and didn't do enough to help make the band a success in my own small way. It was perhaps a small moment of becoming an adult -- trying to focus more on things that matter and also trying to figure out where you really belong and what you really should be doing. I focused more on theater but also became involved with journalism and writing, something I realized I should have been doing all along.
